Monday 30 March 2020

26th March 2020

Yesterday I wasn’t able to write. After waking up late, I simply forgot about the writing. I did remember much later in the day, but didn’t get around to it. The 24th was quite stressful. There was to be this big announcement from the PM in the evening and I wasn’t sure what it would be. The markets rose a bit during the day adding to the apprehension. I heard that one could get groceries and petrol in the morning between 6 and 11 am. I had already missed the window and decided to go on Wednesday. Thanks to the 21-day curfew, now I don’t know when I will be able to go.

After the announcement on 24th night, I slept late and then slept really well. Somehow it ended a lot of speculation in my head. And I woke up feeling quite tired. I decided to take the day off - which means doing work, only NOT on the computer. So I cleaned out stuff from the fridge - was very embarrassed at how much had gotten spoilt, washed and washed dishes, cooked something, napped, lay down, meditated. The day went by really fast. Somehow when I am hanging around doing so little, I feel very hungry. 

The big find of the day was a small tetrapak of tomato puree in my larder, since I am running out of tomatoes, and some frozen peas and veggies in my freezer. 

Overall I feel a twitchiness that I cannot quite comprehend or control. I have an app on my phone called “Insight Timer” that has put out a new series of meditations and I am trying them one by one. I am reminding myself to take deep breaths at random intervals. 

(And I remember this joke from Richard Gordon’s Doctor series every time - Doctor checking teenager’s chest with stethoscope, “Big breaths” said with a smile. Teenage girl responds proudly, “Yeth and I am only thitheen”)

I allow myself an hour of TV each day - BBC, Puthiya Thalaimurai, NDTV, India Today TV. I should add Al Jazeera to the list - right now I have no idea at all about what is happening in Africa, West Asia and South America.

I rage about what this is doing to the powerless. Guterres, the UN chief, points out that if the rich do not help the poor in these times, the virus could mutate and come back in a worse form. Everything is global and this temporary locking down of artificial borders is not going to help in the long-term. I hope those who need to heed this advice do so. As of now, what is clearly visible is that people have lost trust in their leaders - which is why there is so much chaos. If I can’t believe what my government tells me, then I am more inclined to try and look after myself rather than wait patiently for help to reach me. As a newspaper article put it, this is a complete failure of governance in so many countries.

The images of migrants walking home with their families is chilling. Just how unfair is this world? And my helplessness in this situation makes me want to switch off from the world around me. However, that is no solution. Clearly, I have to think harder to find out how to help. 

Maybe because of my father, but I have a lot of respect for the bureaucracy. They are definitely amongst the most intelligent people in India (okay, one kind of intelligence). I am surprised that none of them analysed the situation in early February and starting working on what needs to be done. Something as simple as stamping people with indelible ink would have been in place by end February if our governance system was working well, I would think! India had so much time to get its act together - if only we had true leaders instead of mere vote gatherers. 

Even in these troubled times, I can see various state governments, across the political spectrum, doing so much better than the central government. The centre seems to be hesitating just at the thought of the enormity of the task. Let go - allow those who are better placed to make some decisions, to do so. That is the strength of such a diverse country. Capitalise on our strengths, build on our capacities - lessons from every disaster situation I have worked in. Instead we seem bent on doing the opposite - allowing our weaknesses, our vulnerabilities to engulf us and paralyse us. 

Since the NDMA has declared this a disaster, treat it as such. Our biggest strength is that we have all our systems working. Unlike after an earthquake or a flood, we still have water, electricity, communication and roads. What is important is that we don’t give people an excuse to leave their homes or areas. Use online systems, mobile phones, radio and doordarshan to reach out to the majority of the people. Then we can plan on reaching those who are excluded from this vast network. Instead we are receiving a plethora of fake news and driven into further frenzy. 

If only we had a true leader to take charge of the situation!


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